restless

restless
not sitting still for anything
my mind
is racing
the beat inside me
is driving me
the car is
out of control
i am digging
my own hole

restless
if the weather doesn't turn
i won't know what to wear
a coat
or none
i take it with me
take it off
then put it on
i'll carry it
after all

restless
i read this page
three times over
and still
don't know what it says
maybe put it down
no
i'll pick it up again
the letters jumping off the paper
i can't
make them into words
that matter
i'll get up and make a drink

i used to have a calm side
when you could put your hand on mine
when you knew
i needed you to

but since you don't come round much anymore
i have lost the peace i found
when you were here
the peace i had
when you were near
is something from the past
something so dear
i daren't remember it now

restless
wind stop pushing me
the leaves
are falling off the trees
bearing branches
uncovering the vulnerability
i have to go now
i can't sit still
no hand on my shoulder
to stop the jumping up
and going out