constancy

there is a blood that flows
of it's own accord
like snow fed rivers and falls
there is the gold orb's
rise and downward trail
each evening
as the moon takes over
there is the death
completion and returning to the earth
that cycles back into new souls
there is the sorrow of loss
that gradually again
turns glad to be still able
to feel
anything
and then the happiness
when someone gets
what they've worked so hard for
the turn
the spin
the weave
the constancy of change
the only thing
that doesn't change
at all

the little window tree

with arms outstretched
look how the leaves shrivel
under the frost
before they turn from green to gold
suddenly it got so cold
the little window tree
was feeling old

but i know a secret
underground
stirs a warm heart
and the promise of spring
i have seen you
with the light filtering
in between new buds
and new born chicks
you will have new life
in your veins
the little window tree
will feel the gentle heat again

let winter strip you
of what you hold so tight
sleep through the hibernation
of winter's blight
let snow nestle at your roots
and ice harden
your softer shoots
for now
little window tree
your secret's
safe with me
until the melting
wakes you up again

lost at sea

this is deep water
it is blue-black
it is cold
the deeper i get
the darker it goes
and all this water
came from somewhere
tears from the clouds
against the shore

and i am drowning
going down
lost at sea
i am drowning
going down
lost at sea

the foam and the wave
will carry me
carry me out
far away from here
carry me out
to somewhere
that is empty
and hollow
and waiting

and i am drowning
going down
lost at sea
i am drowning
going down
lost at sea

the compass point
was faulty
but the boat still unfurled it's sails
i lost my heart
to the captain
and the ship came a-ground
in the bay

as the reeling gulls
sing the song of the tide
and the sun sit's abreast the day
there's a calm
that settles the harbour
where the bones of the vessel lay

and i am drowning
going down
lost at sea
i am drowning
going down
lost at sea
drowning
going down
lost at sea
'til the night star
leads me home

the last waltz

i could see that you were dancing
but the dance had changed
you were side stepping
when you should have moved ahead
maybe i had killed something
maybe what was left
was just a shadow
of the passion
we had shared
and i had
sacrificed everything
that could have been
and your card
is full of
other names
that you must occupy the dancefloor with
and as i watch you glide along
in the arms of someone else
i know that what we had
can never be again

there used to be a look you had
that made me smile
a something that was special
in a way nothing else was
but now i see the light has gone
from somewhere in side
there's no use looking for it anymore
if it's not there
dance on
when another partner comes along
didn't you know
this was the last waltz

the colour of the leaves

crimson
burnt gold
auburn brown
under my feet
fallen down
imprinting on the cement
wet and crushed
stems and veins
ironed in between waxed paper
held up to the light
you can see
the colour of the leaves

like a stained glass window
made of opaque paper
and the fallen
fate of trees
maple
ash
sumac
dogwood
larch
and beech
purple
chocolate brown
the only green
is on the fir
and pine

the colour of the leaves
has come around

the moment

when it hurts
you know
that it has been worth
every bit of strength
and all the tears
like welcome rain
come
to feed

the moment

the facets of love
catch the light
at different times
in different ways
and what seemed
like it was never
going to change
is suddenly blooming
like the growing season
come of age
in spite of colder darker days
here

in the moment

and i am holding you a little too tight
hoping you will sink into me
so i can carry you like that
my eyes are tracing
every scar and shape
the dimples
wrinkles
embedding in my mind
so i will not forget

the moment

for like fleeting birds
the time will pull away
what seemed like it would
always stay
we hold so little time here
the precious space you occupy
will one day
empty of your shadow
and your grace

the moment

i realised
nothing can replace
what you have given
just by being
who you are
and what you have

the moment

constant
as the first white star
we see on the horizon
as the sun escapes

tender burden

i am awake with a sore head
and i don't know why
all the good is shed
like the leaves
that float on the pond
and a light wind
pushes them like boats
the cool air gives relief
as this tender burden
weighs me down

i can't find the words
in the dictionary
that describe the way i'm feeling
i go all shy and turn away
and hide behind my smile
and even a turn of your head
can make the weather change
this tender burden
weighs me down

oh my heart is full
why do i have to carry
this
oh my heart is old
and heavy with this
new found bliss

when you return
i'll try to show
that i'm alright
and everything's ok
i'll walk on water
walk on land
and brush the clouds away
but inside me this little thing
is ticking day by day

this tender burden
weighs me down again
this tender burden
weighs me down again
this tender burden
weighs me down

winter wood

the hills have changed
from gold to grey
branches shed of leaves
against the purple sky
and in the air i smell
the scent of snow
the season's ready for
the winter wood

the crisp and heavy frost
dusts the ground
and ice is starting to form
around the edges of the
shallow pond
the birds eat holly berries
and wait for seed
and i'll be heading for the winter wood

and soon it will be dark
and all will sleep quite still
the moon will silver
all of this
as i make my way in
to the winter wood

and as i taste
the first flakes of snow
that glitter softly
from the soft light above
i want nothing
but the beauty here
of the soft quiet blanket
that gathers at my feet

and in this gentle season
there is no better place
than sheltered by this cathedral of trees
that is
the winter wood
the winter wood
the winter wood

still it burns

open the window
to see it grow
you don't know if it will work
but
you gotta give it a go
you light the match
the spark is hit
the flame leaps up
the heat and the light
exist

it's eating the wick and the wax
it's warming the room
and when it burns down to
the bottom
we'll have to light it again
it's not easy
keeping it alight
any little breeze can blow it out

but in me
still it burns

oh fire giver and taker of life
won't you make up your mind
will you kill me or keep me alive

oh fire dancing lips of flame
warm and consume me
keep the passion growing within

so we watch the embers
as they slowly go red
from such a pale yellow white
to this darker shade
if you throw in some paper
it will catch like a fire bird
and fly up the chimney
out into the world
and somewhere
still
it burns

maybe an angel

maybe an angel
is here with me now
shadowing all i do
maybe an angel is over my shoulder
helping me deal with
the demons i shoulder
maybe an angel
will save me
from taking the fall

maybe an angel
is guiding my path
avoiding the holes in the road
maybe an angel
is carrying me
over the bridge
to my goal
maybe an angel
is hovering near
making sure all is
perfectly clear

all i know is i'm
whole
and maybe
the angel
is you

long overdue

the feeling
and the sweet morning
upon me now
so much relief
after holding it all in
like a flood
out in the open now
long overdue

the time it took to
walk the right road
to walk the right path
or to know when i should move at all
took every ounce of strength
to hold me back
from the cliffside fall
and now that i have sat out the
long winter
everything i wanted
is coming to me
long overdue

i knew by your smile
you understood the unspoken
understood the words behind the rhyme
i knew in your eyes was a new horizon
it was only a matter of time
hold on
it's been long overdue

some give up because they cannot envision
some give in because they cannot wait
i stand here naked before you
longing and leaving the rest behind
to move ahead on this tender wake
surely
this is long overdue
certainly long overdue
hold on
it's been long overdue

what i gave to you

what i gave to you
i gave to you alone
what i gave to you
was given without terms
and this precious gift
came without any ribbons or bows
came without any season marked on it's soul
came without any reason at all

what i gave to you
flew from somewhere deep
the wings got caught on the clouds
flying into your reach

and this precious gift
came without knowing
this precious gift
keeps growing and growing
this precious gift
has no reason at all

and stop it though i might
it still flies it still tries
and if i beg it cease

there is no way it listens to me

what i gave to you was hwhole
from inside out on every side
each and every colour shown

and the time turns the world
over and over
we walk we sleep we breathe and
we bother
but this gift i gave was free
this gift comes to you from me

the loss

it's falling away
i am trying so hard
to hold on
but the blood loss
is hard to stop
and all the bright red flow
is leaving me
leaving me alone

i never knew
how it would feel
to be so empty
until now
and then again
i had to have it in me
first
to understand

it's slipping away
like silk under my hand
falling off the bed
and to the floor
i couldn't stop it
as you walked
out the door
and there i lay
wishing i had never known

it's running away
like it can't wait to go
and any flame has
died down now
and left the ash cold
and any dream
my heart enjoyed
is left in sleeping
never to be found
the loss
is all around me
like a storm
circle
feed
and go

burn

you burn
still
i lit you
quite a while ago
i turned the lights out
just so i could see you
and your soft flicker
reflected in the window

where outside
inclement weather
meets this warm window
and i sit and snuggle further
up the couch
the blankets
pillows

and somewhere in me feels safe to know
the wind cannot get in
and blow you out
my source of light
my source of burning
light
a tiny fire
on a wax pillar

but if you burn fast
the melted wax will feed
on you
until you go out
then i will be
in total darkness
just like you
a black smoking
piece of string

looking for a match
to bring it back
to life again
burning
burning too fast
learning
some things
just aren't meant
to last

to light it
is to see it bright
to keep it going
is to feed
and feed again
before the wind comes through

so the burning
catches something else
and spreads the flame
before it gets blown out
behind are embers
from a larger source
that keeps it's centre warm
rest awhile
enjoy the gold red light
the heat
the comfort here
burn
burn true
and don't
go out
again

mother

you have given me life
and nurtured me
in time
i will return this

at the core
you are
and i am your creation

you have set
this sail in me
to travel far and wide

you have
engrained this melody
on me
i sing it every day

you have embedded
this heart in my chest
how it beats
with every pulse
that raises the sun
that pulls the moon
down to me

how grateful am i
to be part of
this great mystery
adored
sheltered
loved

from nothing
you have made me
something
you have cradled me
and now
the spirit home
is found

embarrassment

i walk into the trap and trip
at your feet
i feel so inept and clumsy
afraid to look up
i look forward
walk as fast as my feet
will carry me

i am falling
without arms
to hold me up
face red
and trying not to show emotion
like volcanoes building up
hoping some did not see
how badly i performed

next night i get up
and wait for the trap
to trip me up

once more
embarrassment

closer

the ticking
is getting closer
like the clock
your heart beats
inside your shirt
inside my head
the time is passing
fast

and you will be long gone
soon
over the timeline
and the light of the moon
closer than you think
this long goodbye

words mean nothing
in the spread of
this thing
the cracks are filled in
by the silence

and you will be long gone
still
i am holding on
to the ticket stub you dropped
without seeing
closer than you think
this long goodbye

i can still smell your hair
in the morning
i can still see your eyes
as they open first thing
i can still feel your skin
after sleep softens it
i wish i could forget
but my heart won't let me

the cold is creeping in
as i sense you leave
as i sense a change
in the season
i will turn away
so you don't see my face
so you don't see the tears at the corners
closer than you think
this long goodbye
closer than you think
you and i

the happy sentinel

there is a guardian
that directs me
when thought is in conflict
the way that needs to be followed
is always there
but sometimes lost
in life's confusion

i have a happy sentinel
that calls out which way i should
go
and if i listen
there is clarity
and joy
always a sunny road
down which my day can turn

though it may rain
and words may clash
the thunder can be beauty

a happy sentinel
will not change the outside
it's on the inside
there's a choice
of which way to turn
it's up to me to choose it

my guardian won't let me down
unless I do not listen
the blessed song
the bluest sky
is always up for offer
take the gift
and use it

something's missing

something's missing
in everything i do
a link
a page
a word or two
but it never goes further
than just over there
tell me where
the bridges are
maybe it's syntax
maybe it's language
maybe i don't fit
into this landscape
come out come out wherever you are
don't hide in the shadows
or behind the door
for the time is short
and the cost is high
something's missing
and i don't
know why
but if it's missing
it can be found
so unlock
the gate
before
the sun goes down

something's missing
but that means you know
there's an empty space
where something belongs

walk alone

sometimes it feels like
there's no way home
when you lose the trail
between your heart
and the road

the sun sinks
in a different horizon
and try as i may
i don't know where to find it

and i
walk this line
like all the rest
some find their feet
some fall
that's all
sometimes no matter what you say
there's just
no way home

when the detour sign is posted
loud and clear
and the path ahead
is dusty-rocky
i will bear my fate
i will bide my time
and pray
my dreams
come to something

yes i walk this line
like all the rest
some find their feet
some fall
that's all
sometimes no matter how hard you try
there's just no way to know what's next
i would take my chances with the best
but no matter how you word it or explain
sometimes
there's just no way home

so i'll set out in the morning
with the dawn
and hope the new day greets me with an open sky
when i look back from my destination
i hope i will say
that i didn't have to walk alone
even though
there's no way home

open heart

i approach things with an open heart
open eyes and open mind
let you in as far as you will go
give you everything i have
but when the air grows heavy
with your discontent
and anything i say
is used in vain
this in when the door shuts
and i walk away from the pain
no comment
you lost an
open heart

don't ask the questions
that have already been answered
time and again
maybe you just couldn't see
maybe you weren't listening
but some day someone will
be able to take
and give
i'm not changing my ways and means
just to suit your needs
no comment
you lost an
open heart

how many times have i tried to reason
how many times have i set the rhyme
how many times have i seen the beauty in you
but you continued to be blind

this road runs in a circle
no beginning no end
there is nothing you can do to me
that will stop me moving forward
and i hope that on your journey
you will find your source of light
you have taught me to have patience
perseverence through a starless night
so walk on and don't look back
no more wasted explanations
no coment
you lost
an open heart

clear blue sky

as i sit and look out at the clear blue sky
i wonder how many birds
will fly against the patina
the bittercold heights
and the wonderful scenery
my heart has wings
and a muffled beat
to think i am taking off
any minute
i know i am losing you
and it hurts
i need clouds to mark
the rain
i am crying now
i am crying in a way
i don't know how
to stop

for all the times i could have
treated you better
but somehow didn't
and
as you leave
i hope engraved in you
are the good times
that i am remembering now

i can see you high in the
clear blue sky
flying to a life
where the air is new
when we catch up again
it will be
like you never
left
bird
fly
but know
i'm already missing you

overwhelming

i can't believe the summer's over
never really had one
this year
and like the last
the slowly sinking sun
is casting golden rays
across my path
and at the shedding trees
the colours burning
as they're falling
leaves
that once were green
have let go of the filament
and yet the sky
is pulsing blue
and setting off the buildings
cars and people
in a way that never happens
when the sky is dark
my joy is full
now dare i be this happy
all my friends and loves
and songs and words
are blending
into one
the autumn comes
the change
is
overwhelming
would i be here
without you
i wouldn't want to know
the overwhelming opposite
of what i'm feeling now
but one day i will
so now i will
not dampen down
the spirit that beats and
dances in me still
the thrill
is
overwhelming

not forsaken

the days are getting shorter
and the bones are getting softer
the frame is folding
inward
i look and there the tender
sweetness beats
this cannot be forgotten
not forsaken

the time we spent in words
the higher number
not so easy to remember
but how i soar
on the smile that first awakes
at sight of your name
at sound of your
deepened voice
this cannot be forgotten
not forsaken

i wish for a moment
i wouldn't fall apart
in front of you
i always fall apart in front of you
such submission
such disgrace
if i fall apart in front of you
the pieces lying on the floor
at your feet
pick me up
in time and place
the night is gently seeking us
gently calling out our name
in the dark the clouds seem distant
as you stroke my hair
this cannot be forgotten
not forsaken
not mistaken
and the morning sun
will hold us in its wake

overflow

i can't keep all the good stuff in
all the good stuff that is meant to be given
given away to make it better
given away and it fills up again
and i smile to see the beauty of you
when i least expect it you are
catching me
carrying me
in the sweetest way
that has ever been
your strength lies
in the unsuspected nature
of your kindness
the gift given
without price
or cost
if you ever knew
without you on my side
i would be easily lost
if you ever knew without you at my side
i would be easily missed
and missing the piece
that fits
the overflow
spills
and replenishes
the snowfed water
from the mountain cliffs
and i am the grateful pool
that reflects
all of this

little bird

a little bird
perched in the tree
next to my window
he didn't sing
but sat and listened
like he could hear
through the glass

his feathers irredescent
in the early light
so bright in the morning
as the mist caught flight
as i played my guitar
and softly sang
he sat and listened
through the glass

this little bird has his own
life
his own place to go
this little bird in his own time
will know
where to fly
and how high amidst the blue
his wings will carry him


little bird carry my song
high
carry it over the hills
as i play my guitar
and softly sing
on the other side
of the glass

the tree is empty
and a feather falls
where once
the little bird
perching still
listened
heard
and went

hard rain

sometimes a hard rain
like a flood of tears
will clean out
the debris
that has been floating here
the things that though we try
to make them work
get worse
from trying too hard
to keep them above the tide line
and on the shore
but they are drowning
of their own accord
and though i would like to save you
this time you have to save yourself
because of times i can't be there
to explain why
you don't know how
to treat people with respect

sometimes a hard rain
washes out
the things that stuck there
much too long
that weighed me down
the crying works
when all else fails
to make much sense
why
when i treat you
with respect
i am the one
you hurt the most
expect that sorry
makes it ok
well it doesn't anymore

sometimes the hard rain
sends the silt down river
all that wonderful potential
in you
washed to somewhere else
my hope is that you
find a way you can
respect yourself
and move to treat those better
than you have treated me
i was the learning curve
the current rushed around
the bend that led the tide
to right itself