night begins

the light left silently
over my shoulder
before I knew it the dark
had fallen
night begins
and with it goes my day

away i see it drift
all the busy-ness
importance gone
remembering how new it was
before i left the morning bed
before i had my first coffee
and the dog and cat were fed

and now that
night begins
i look back on what i think i did
and whether it now seems
a valued use of energy
some things i've been part of today
were fine-sublime
some of it was a waste of time

more sure than any dent i make
will be the fact that this day ends
and night begins
go round again

i wonder how i'll feel when night ends
and day begins again

as night begins
i hope for dreams like rafts
to carry me safely
over this dark sea
and meet the sun
as it comes
up over the far horizon

as night begins
i look forward to the sleep
and back to what i should have done
and hope tomorrow
i can say
i start out from a different place
further down my path

as night begins
i think all this
i see inside my hollow head
the flitting thoughts
and cherished wishes
as night ends
i wait for day
to dawn again

i have to go

i have to go
i am leaving now
leaving all that's certain
all that's warm

this bed has harboured me too long
too long in dreams i tossed
the sea was rough
i need to get up

i have to go
i am leaving now
leaving the safety of your arms
to sail unchartered waters
whose depth i cannot measure
i will take the chance
drown or swim
i can survive
i know

i have to go
i am leaving now
don't make the parting kiss too long
or i will change my mind
i know
a woman i may be
but the child inside is crying now

i have to go
i am leaving now
don't say goodbye
just use your eyes
and i will carry your scent
and your smile
on me and in me
to carry me over the storms
like a bridge
over a flooding river
i am torn
don't turn around

i have to go
i am leaving now
leaving behind
the soft pillow
the hands
and the arms
that hold me fast
and free me

though
i have to go
in spirit i will still be here
though i am leaving now

you know

my black dog

she's waiting patiently
tail shifting back and forth
feathery hair shining soft

her eyes are filming over now
but she can see me better than most people
i know

her hearing seems to going off
she doesn't bark as much
when a stranger knocks

we have walked and run
played in the morning
played in the rain
entertained the neighbourhood kids
and those in our family

she doesn't even seem to mind the cat
much

and when i get to the door at night
and unlock it
who is first to greet me
as if she is really smiling
having missed me

who is happy with a simple feed
one or two treats
and a stroke in between
she never seems to be judging me

who knows when i am feeling low
and lays her head in my lap
all warm
for a stroke and a cuddle

sally
my black dog

something out of nothing

how can i make something out of nothing
i can't put a thing
in a vacuum without it disappearing
without it being eaten up
and gone
and nothing

but what is the something
i can feel and taste and see
i can describe it
what it is to me
to you may be a completely different thing

and if you held this something in your hand
would you describe it as square
or round
for you would it be rough or smooth
what colours would you recognise
as the light broke through

making something out of nothing
is not only possible
but usually how the world creates
most of what it knows
as long as what you're making
is something worth creating
the question is
how do we ever know

how will we ever know
unless we have a go

my heart has stopped

the beating like wings
feathered and flying
my heart has stopped
for a while

the thump and the pound
there was once rhythm there
but now
my heart has stopped
for a while

for a while it got up speed
and broke free from my chest
i almost gave my heart
to someone else

but the pace was making me
sick
sick and tired
and losing the will
my heart has stopped
for a while

the thudding and the jumping
on the screen the line is still moving
i am still looking for something
but
my heart has stopped
for a while

the pumping and the juddering
it's seeming to be irregular
but maybe someday
a heart will stop
for me
for now

my heart has stopped
and stalled

i finally see the sky

today i finally see the sky
after so many days when it remained hidden
behind a blanket of clouds

oh for that touch of blue i have prayed
and my prayers have been answered
today
i will not let this touch of blue
slip by
without enjoying
what i'm standing under

gazing up i'll smile
and see this as a gift
for somehow doing right
amidst the things that i've done wrong
though fortunately
the weather
is not determined
by my actions
or my songs

gazing up i'll sigh
and hope the sky will still be there
without the clouds
when i have the chance to go outside
and revel in it's blueness

i finally see the sky
what's there is so expansive
that even though the cloud may come and go
the sky is part of space
and space is infinite
with limitless potential
it makes my heart feel full

and a little glad to know
i finally see the sky
and can expect it to be there
even when the clouds are low

i think it broke

on the way i think it broke
but to have it
was to validate
that it would not stay the same

i think it broke
i'm trying to mend
and maybe it will then be more flexible
after the effort
after the attempt
to make things right
or better

i never tried to change it
to make it turn out this way
but life has it's own pattern
on the shadows in the grass
i see it
and i cannot stop it happening

i think it broke
without me dropping it
stepping on it
or even touching it
it just changed shape
in front of my eyes
and then
i lost touch
with it

i lost touch
and feeling
the feeling of being
a part of it

i think it broke
i saw the pieces on the floor
and didn't recognise it anymore

i think it broke
and this time
if we put it back together again
will it be stronger
than it was before

or is it better
to start all over

your journey

something hurts
i don't know why
i know you are going for the right reasons

but i have been a part of you so long
like a limb of mine
you will be missing

or are you the heart that beats
the lungs that breathe the air
that keeps me alive

each day we lived side by side
taking no notice
eating our meals
drinking tea in silence
thinking it will last forever

now your journey looms

and when you go
i'll see the indentation on the couch
where you sat and watched tv
the way you left your coat
where it shouldn't be
a clean house

is a sad replacement
for the noise and life
that left

your journey
is what i brought you here for
you never were to stay for good
i try and remember this
but it doesn't make
my heart ache less
or stop me thinking of the times
that no one else can give me

your journey
is thousands of miles
over the globe the ice cap
my heart is breaking now

i can visit when i want
but you will be a different one
than he who left
i should be glad i had the chance
to experience it

but something hurts
maybe growth and change
always feel like this

cherish

something loved
will be given time
cherish
every minute of it

no timeline
and no reason why
cherish
every turn of it

reach out
with no expectation
just an open heart
and an invitation
cherish
each new side of it

leave no mark
and no intention
hold the hand
without a mention
cherish
the warmth of it

always be
there for the fall
pick up and carry
settle down
cherish
the weight of it

forget yourself
remember this
we can choose
to lighten it
for all those
burdened with a sorrow
a smile
could brighten
burn the clouds off
cherish
life
become a part of it

cherish the gift
you stand in front of
and joy will partner you

when a thing is good

when a thing is good
you stop asking questions
second guessing
is replaced by second nature
nature reigns
and in it's arms
the growth takes place

when a thing is good
you don't look back
or seek the future
you look it in the face
and cherish every bit
of what's there
for what's there
and not for what it's becoming

when a thing is good
your heart starts singing
well before the song
gets written
well before the format is decided
even though you don't really know
what's inside it

when a thing is good
you don't need to know
everything
don't need to be in control
relish the fact
that development
will choose it's own road

when a thing is good
the best part is
there is no need to fear
you will be taken care of
there is no need to quantify
anything

when a thing is good
there is no need

the morning has potential

outside my window i heard a bird
i had not heard for a while
and i thought
this morning has potential

the sky has changed
and i can see a bit of blue
where only cloud was seen
the other day perhaps
this morning has potential

the trees so still
no breeze
but leaves so green
with buds so full
this morning has potential

the flowers stretching for the sun
and petals
opening up
this morning has potential

maybe i should get up